


Adore You

by sun_flowervol6



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Best Friends, Bottom Louis, Coming of Age, F/M, Friendship/Love, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Minor Eleanor Calder/Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan & Harry Styles Friendship, Non-Famous Harry, Non-Famous Louis Tomlinson, Switch Harry, Top Louis Tomlinson, larry stylinson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:41:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27633562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sun_flowervol6/pseuds/sun_flowervol6
Summary: "Just let me adore you like it's only thing I ever do."Harry loves Louis but he doesn't see it straight away.
Relationships: Eleanor Calder/Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Kudos: 10





	1. Would you believe it?

Looking at something from an outside view is always an important aspect of any situation. How would you feel if you saw someone else in love with a person who didn't love them, but everyone knows that they secretly do deep down. What if they spent most of their early teenage years together and now finally when that chapter of their life was coming to an end, should they walk away or stay? Should they leave it all behind and pretend that it never happened? What if it could be the best thing that ever happened to them but they'd never know since they weren't open enough? Harry always thought looking at a situation from an outside mindset was always the way to fix things, but in this case? It just wouldn’t work. 

Too many complications. Too many friends involved and quite frankly? Harry just didn’t want to put his feelings on the line in case his outside view was wrong too. Even though Harry was a romantic and believed his feelings needed to be heard and mattered, he just didn’t even want to tell his best friend that he was utterly in love with him and wanted him to feel that way too. Being a teenager certainly with all these thoughts just didn’t help either with hormones and school just running about the place while he tried to function an everyday life without thinking about his future of what might be and what couldn’t be.

From an outside view? There was no doubt that Harry and Louis had a special connection probably more than any of their other friends. They were always with each other from one end of the day until the other when they could. The two were always sitting together during lunch even with their other friends undoubtedly with Louis’ arm wrapped around his shoulder. Later on in the day if Louis wasn’t working an evening shift in his part time job? Harry could be found either sitting in either Louis’ or his own room for them both to do homework and have dinner with each other’s family and finally then ending up having a cuddle on either bed to finish their day before heading home. Even around their other friends? No one else cuddled like they did, no one else talked for hours and hours on end like him and Louis. No one texted Harry stupid good morning messages like Louis and wondered if he slept well like Louis. 

Harry sighed as he closed his journal with a huff. He sick of thinking about his overwhelming feelings for Louis and tired about talking about what could and couldn’t be since it was so early in the morning. He already was running ten minutes behind since he had an extra ten minutes in bed and decided his journal needed to be written. That morning routine still consisted of getting up just to trod down the stairs as slowly as he could since he didn’t want to go to school for the day. He made himself eat breakfast so he wasn’t complaining that he was hungry during his first couple of classes before lunch and annoy his friends about the rumble in his belly. 

Most important out of his routine and maybe his favourite part? Not having to walk to school since his Louis could drive before anyone else he knew could and only picked him up and not any of their other friends. Harry smiled even when he thought about it and smiled even more when he heard Louis beep outside. He slung his bag over his shoulder and walked out the door to see the view he got every morning. Louis sitting there in his car and waiting for Harry to hurry up so they could go. 

“Hey! Thanks for the lift, Louis. You know it saves me an hour on the bus to school…” Harry smiled at him thankfully as he awkwardly climbed into the car then. Harry always thanked Louis no matter what every single morning without fail even though it was just normal now. He turned to Louis the minute he put his seatbelt on and smiled back fondly at Louis’ small smile at him before starting to drive again. Harry bit his lip to hide his fond smile. His Louis? Most definitely not a morning person but he was always delighted to see Louis sitting there every morning waiting on him. He leaned over to turn on the radio at a low volume so they wouldn’t have to sit there in complete silence until they reached school to meet with the rest of their friends waiting for them where Louis usually parked. 

It never came as a surprise to Harry though to hear a very certain loud voice to grab their attention the minute they both got out of the car. “Oi Oi! Morning, you’d think you’d give me a lift since you’re collecting Harry every morning, huh Tommo?” Niall exclaimed at them both which caused Harry laughed shyly. He ruffled his hair after getting out of the car to greet them all hello. Harry most definitely was fond of Niall and besides Louis? He was the closest to him and spent the second most time with him but in school? 

Niall really just seemed interested to kick about and joke every day in classes and not really care about the effects that it would have on his grades, or anyone else's but that was okay. Niall was Niall. Next to join the gang to comment on how Harry got lifts was Liam who most definitely wasn’t jealous of Louis’ car and being able to drive by himself. Liam was much more mature than the rest, who just came to school and did his own thing much like the final lad of the group Zayn who just shook his head at all the comments.

It was then Harry finally heard Louis come to life that whole morning. “Well, you know lads. If you were all living on my route to school like my favourite Harry does then I’d collect you too, but until then? Sod off and walk or get the bus like usual.” Louis grinned and slung his arm around Harry which made him smile like no other. It was moments like these where Harry thought of what they could be. Not just Louis doing him a favour and collecting him because he was on his way to school but instead wanted to collect him and see him every morning. Not just because he was on his route to school. He didn’t mind though, any time with Louis was better than no time at all. Especially since they both were in different years, Harry being in the one below since he was younger than all his friends so Louis collecting him? Definitely made his mornings before he had to go and with people he didn’t even speak to unless he was really made. 

“You know, if you’re gonna be like that I’ll make sure Louis will never collect you again.” Harry laughed then as they all walked inside to their lockers and somehow all lined up with each other. Plain luck most people would think, but not Harry. How convenient was it that Harry and Louis had their own two lockers separate to the other three where a little bit further down. He smiled over at Louis shyly. 

“You have English first? I’ll walk you over Harry.” Harry’s heart swelled with fondness as Louis offered to walk him to class. Harry nodded in response as his thoughts ran wild. Of course he was right. Louis wanted to spend time with him even when in school and not just at lunch because he was Louis’ favourite out of the group. Louis wanted to spend time with him because he liked him too. 

Harry hummed as he started walking over to his class with Louis, but Louis just didn’t seem right. Why wouldn’t Louis look at him in the eye? Why was he walking that little further from Harry than he usually would? Harry sighed internally to himself knowing he sounded completely obsessed with Louis Tomlinson but he knew he was. He was utterly and completely head over heels for Louis and didn’t even get to properly hear him speak. “I went on a date last night.” Harry’s heart shattered in that moment.

Louis? On a date? How didn’t he know? More importantly, why didn’t Louis bother to tell him before now? They had been snapchatting late last night having general conversations and Louis decides to drop this on him now? Right before his English lesson? “A date? With who? Where? When? Why?” Harry spluttered out a series of questions when he felt that pang in his heart.

“Well I’m not supposed to say anything about it yet, but Eleanor. You know Eleanor? She’s in my year and super fit. We had that project together, remember Harry? Anyway, we’ve just been chatting and yeah. We went to the movies. We just decided we’d give it a go? ” Louis’ sheepish smile made Harry want to break down and start crying but he refused. What was he supposed to tell Louis? This morning he was scribbling in his journal all these philosophical reasonings about his feelings and how other people saw them? And he was on a date with Eleanor last night to no one’s knowledge until right now?

Harry forced himself to smile at him, clasping the phone that he had in his hand even tighter. How was he even supposed to respond? He had to come out directly for Louis to even look in his direction? Well, whoever was looking at this situation would call Harry an idiot now for pining after someone who didn’t even look at him the same way. Not one little bit. “Oh wow, that’s great Louis! Really happy for you, I gotta go to class now but I’ll talk to you later.” He rambled before leaving Louis there. 

What was he supposed to say now? Louis being interested in someone else absolutely broke his heart and he believed all this rubbish about how they were meant to be and he was probably off with Eleanor this whole time behind his back? Harry couldn’t even focus in class, his mind racing with all these thoughts of being heart broken and didn’t even want to scribble his own name matched Louis’ surname over a piece of paper. He just sat there with a giant frown on his face. This wasn’t how he planned his morning to go, not one bit. 

Lunch was even worse. Harry knew all too well that Louis wouldn’t be able to keep his mouth shut about his date with Eleanor even if he wasn’t supposed to be telling people. Louis was a lad. This is what lads do? Running his mouth off about Eleanor and how she cuddled up with him in the film and even held hands before they had a snog when Louis dropped her home. Right? Harry wasn’t sure, since the only interaction he had was with boys and he didn’t tell his friends that? He wasn’t exactly out as gay, but no one asked about girls the least. 

“Well, that’s great news Louis, but what about your other girlfriend? I’m sure Harry was heart broken to find someone was in his seat and you brought another girl to the cinema!” Harry looked up the minute he heard Niall say that. Thing was, he knew Niall was half being serious with his comments but the other lads just laughed it off. Harry had strictly confided to Niall about his feelings for Louis drunkenly over the summer and now it was just someone he relied on about it other than his journal.

“My other girlfriend? I’m not gay, you think I want El hearing that? Harry’s not my fucking girlfriend, Niall. Don’t say shit like that. It’s weird. I’m not fucking gay.” As if Louis hadn’t already hurt Harry and his heart today he now stuck the knife in and twisted it as hard as he could. Well, now Harry knew Louis just acted like that because they were friends. Nothing else. 

Harry looked directly over at Louis, shaking his head in disappointment. “Don’t talk about people or their sexuality like that. It’s not weird, if it isn’t for you, that’s quite alright but you don’t talk like that. Just because you have a girlfriend now, you’re not a hard man.” Harry told them and looked around the group not knowing exactly where that came from. He stood up, putting his bag over his shoulder. He was too hurt to be around this. 

“You know that’s not what I meant, Harry.” Louis groaned and put his hand on his arm to try and stop him from leaving. “Just weird that people or Niall thinks he can make comments about shit like that. We’re friends, and you’re not gay so I don’t know why he says that. I’m sorry.” Harry didn’t even want to hear him anymore, but he couldn’t leave. They were all his friends, not just Louis/ and he decided to quieten down after that. 

Harry’s mind was racing thinking about it all now. Louis decided to give all these confusing signals to Harry just because they were friends? Just because he seen that as what lads do and now he has a girlfriend and suddenly it’s all gone right for him? Harry laughed to himself even thinking about it all. 

“Whatever, Louis. Just shut up making unnecessary comments about it. You too.” Liam warned both Louis and Niall so the conversation could continue into something else before they all had to go back to different classes for the day. 

After a long afternoon of classes and trying not to let his mind over think sitting in Louis’ bedroom with him for the evening just made it worse. Why hadn’t he just said no and went home? He really didn’t know. Maybe it was the way Louis asked him softly to come and talk to him in the car ride home so they weren’t fighting. Maybe it was the fact that Louis had gently placed his hand on Harry’s arm when he had tried to get out of the car. He really wasn’t sure but now he was sitting on the edge of Louis’ bed awkwardly since neither of them took homework out do. 

Harry watched Louis chew on his lip, wondering what could be going on his head? He really didn’t have a clue but knew that he was about to find out. “Harry if you’re gay or something I really didn’t mean to offend you earlier by saying it’s weird, and if you’re not gay that’s totally fine too. I just, I just want you to know that I didn’t mean to offend you and whatever you are and who you like is fine by me.” Louis rambled and Harry watched as Louis let out a sigh of relief. 

Harry just chewed on his lip. Louis hadn’t even considered that Harry might be hurt because he really liked him. Did he? He just didn’t want to hurt his feelings incase he had accidentally been homophobic towards him. “That’s… yeah. I mean, it’s kinda hard to put a label on things. You know? I um, I didn’t think all this would happen today.” Harry sighed deeply and watched his best friend look at him curiously. “I guess I’m just… gay, yeah. Don’t say shit like that again about it being weird. It’s not weird. Nothing's gonna change.” He murmured. 

How was Louis going to take this? He really didn’t know, but when he was pulled into a big hug by his best friend and held as tight as he could be, he knew it was all okay. Sort of. But what was he going to do now? He didn’t have a clue, but Louis accepting who he was? It was a good start.


	2. Walk in your rainbow paradise

The thing about coming out being a good start? Harry regretted that idea quickly. He was sick of the notion that talking about things made it better. He was sick of being a hopeless romantic that Louis would have just fallen in love with him right there and then but no. Instead? Harry’s mind went straight to just how awkward it was that he had just came out to his best friend and not there was an awkwardness either of them refused to acknowledge. Their hug soon parted and Harry watched Louis’ face change as he sat down on the edge of his bed. “You know I’m not gay Harry, right? I just don’t want things to be awkward… you know? With how we are, I mean. it’s just us being best friends.” Louis laughed then, a hand reaching for his hair to fix it. 

Oh the response Harry definitely expected. Louis just caring about how things affected him. He just decided to roll his eyes in response to Louis’ statement because guess what?. Of course the only thing Louis thought this was Harry admitting he had feelings for Louis just because he decided he’s come out. Even though it was true, Harry hated the way Louis had phrased it and he didn’t know why. 

Harry decided to come out with a chuckle. He really just wanted to do his best to keep things normal. He didn’t want any problems with Louis. He couldn’t lose him. “Well, I didn’t exactly say I fancied you. Did I?” Harry decided to respond with in which received a pinch to his cheek then. 

What was he supposed to do? Harry most definitely fancied Louis but this isn’t the way that Harry imagined Louis would have reacted. Harry had always imagined that it would have gone down with Louis maybe admitting his love for him too but there they were. Standing in Louis’ room very awkwardly now with the news that he was gay. 

“Yeah, yeah Harry. Didn’t think you’d fancy me anyways. I’m your best mate, aren’t I The other lads are on their way, so we’re all gonna hang out here for a bit and maybe we’ll hit McDonald's after?” Louis told him. 

All Harry could do was nod, glad that their other friends were going to arrive so he wouldn't be submerged in his own thoughts, but hey. What could he do? Louis had a girlfriend and he made clear that he wasn’t gay either, so that great. He knew Louis would also want to tell the whole group about Harry being gay, so there would be no confusion there. 

Harry sighed as he sat back, hearing the boys all come through Louis’ house with a hello to Louis’ mum before they arrived up stairs to all squash into Louis’ room. Harry decided not to sit right next to Louis and let him cuddle him so all the boys had room. 

“So lads! Even though I had a bit of news today, think Harry wants to tell you all something. Don’t you Harold?” Harry could hear the pressure from Louis from where he was sitting. Was Louis seriously going to force him to tell everyone now? 

“Well, I don’t exactly think… think that I have any news per say.” Harry laughed awkwardly, wanting Louis to move on from the conversation so he wouldn’t have to come out with it. 

“Harry come on! Tell them, they’ll all be delighted to know. Yeah?” Louis’ encouraging words didn’t exactly help the predicament that he was in. What? Just come out to everyone the day Louis’ announces he has a girlfriend after one date? As if, no one in their group was stupid. Maybe except for Louis who didn’t seem to realise he wasn’t ready to go about telling their whole group his business. 

“Alright alright, what’s this about huh? Harry has news and doesn’t want to tell us? Don’t exactly think that’s your place to say, yeah?” Niall responded, deciding to jump in and went over to Harry and wrapped an arm around him. 

Harry smiled a little, glad that Niall was on his side and that he could sit there in peace without being pressured anymore. He noticed it though, Louis’ face when Niall wrapped an arm around Harry and turned away to stare at the Fifa game Zayn and Liam were playing. So Louis now found out Harry was gay and didn’t like the fact that Niall had an arm around him? Niall? The guy who managed to find another girlfriend every week and Louis was making faces.

“So Louis, you’re sitting here with all us in your room and you’re not even hanging out with Eleanor today?” Liam asked softly. Liam really was just a nice guy who tended to keep the peace between them all, even if he didn’t know that he was doing it. 

“Well yeah, she’s busy isn’t she? Thought I’d hang out with you guys instead, but looks like Harry and Niall have made themselves comfortable on ‘me bed so I guess I’ll just watch you play fifa instead.” Louis said snidely, glancing over at Harry and Niall. Well that was interesting.

“Funny you said that mate, I’ll just get up and leave Harry to you. Will I?” Niall retorted and left Harry sitting there with a frown, going over to join Liam and Zayn where they sat on the floor of Louis’ bedroom.

Harry moved over a bit, feeling Louis get onto the bed beside him and wrap an arm around him to pull him close, causing Harry to roll his eyes. So now Louis wasn’t gay, definitely didn’t like him and didn’t want to make things weird but the minute Niall, their very straight friend gives Harry a cuddle he’s not impressed? Harry really just couldn’t believe Louis, ever.

“Thought you didn’t want to make things awkward?” Harry whispered to Louis once most of the lads attention was on the football game.

“You’re still my best mate Harry, nothing’s ever gonna change that and you cuddle me usually, so. That’s not going to leave anytime soon.” Louis told him, pulling Harry that little bit closer.

Harry sighed internally as he let Louis play out their normal ways of cuddling on the bed while the other lads sat there and played their game. It was a joke really, but Harry just didn’t want Louis to let him go. He didn’t want to miss out on how Louis smelled or Louis’ light breaths. He was insane. Wasn’t he? Why was he pining after someone who clearly didn’t like him. 

“Well I’m sure your girlfriend isn’t going to be impressed that you have me all cuddled up in your bed, huh?” Harry really tried to joke around. He couldn’t force Louis to like him, especially not on the spot. He was a romantic but he definitely wasn’t an idiot. If Louis fancied Eleanor now? It’d be a long time before he even looked in Harry’s direction, right?

“She’s not here right now curly, besides. No one’s ever gonna stop you from being my best mate. Any girl that doesn’t like you shove off, we’re in this too deep now, H.” Even Louis’ kidding around about picking him over any girl made his heart stop, even if it was just friendly banter. Friendly ‘bros before hoe’s’ lad mentality. It was heart wrenching.

Harry zoned back in the conversation and stopped focusing on how cuddled up he was with Louis when he heard Zayn speak up on the floor. “We can hear your disgusting cuteness from down here, and as cute as it is, Louis if you plan to have sex any time soon I’d probably put your girlfriend a lot higher on your list.” He laughed jokingly. 

“Sex? Mate I’ve only snogged her once, I’ll see how it goes. Just ‘cause all you lads have girlfriends and Harry is just Harry doesn’t mean I’m about to go and have sex with her.” Louis’ face scrunched up at Zayn’s comments.

“Harry is Harry. What does that even mean? He’ll find someone man, he’s just younger than us.” Liam told Louis. Yeah, that’s exactly what Louis was referring to. Not the fact that Harry was gay. 

“Harry isn’t gonna have a girlfriend because Harry’s gay.” Harry spoke up, deciding not to let his friends talk about him as if he wasn’t in the room. 

At first the room fell silent which caused Harry to bite on his lip until it bled. The silence? Almost deafening so now Harry was afraid that he was gone deaf as well as having a busted lip. He knew deep down that he needed to calm down. Outside perspective, he needed to remember what someone else would see in this situation. First of all? Louis already knew so he knew that was fine and hadn’t reacted horrendously but not what his romantic mind wanted. He also knew that Niall was fine with it and even knew that Harry was devoted to Louis so didn’t need to worry either. It was the burning eyes of Liam and Zayn that worried him.

“Well at least he’s finally said it out loud, huh? Good news innit? Harry finally telling us something so personal.” Louis grinned. Harry genuinely wanted to die at the moment in time.

Harry sighed in relief when the lads all finally hugged him and congratulated him about it, but no doubt his mind was filled with worries. He officially came out as gay the day Louis got a girlfriend and no one was going to question it? He was glad no one in their group was that smart but it was worrying him. What if anyone else other than Niall found out? 

“It wasn’t a secret Harry, don’t you worry. When we were all watching Spiderman last week we could see you drooling over Tom Holland.” Zayn laughed and like that and with that comment he felt a lot better for telling everyone his business.

“You think I wasn’t drooling over him? Tom Holland is a beautiful guy. Very beautiful.” Louis added which made Harry look at Louis in surprise. So Louis did find men attractive? Then again, who didn’t on this earth find Tom Holland hot?

“You know, I think we all were drooling over him. I think Harry’s onto the right idea about being into hot guys.” Niall commented, causing Harry to burst out with a loud chuckle. Niall never failed to make him laugh even when he was over thinking like he was now. 

It really did feel good to be out of hiding his feelings from everyone. Sure, not everyone he met in his everyday life was as kind as supportive about his sexuality as his best friends but that’s all Harry needed. He didn’t need everyone to tell him he was brave, because there was nothing brave about being himself. He fancy being the story everyone told about being an openly gay teenager and not worrying about what friends thought about him because really? It wasn’t what he was struggling with. Harry couldn’t keep his mind from Louis, even when they weren’t in the same classes. He couldn’t keep his mind from him even when he was at home by himself. Harry couldn’t even keep his mind off Louis when Eleanor was around them and it was something Harry really hated.

Thing was, over the next couple weeks Harry really did try not to make any comments about Eleanor and Louis’ relationship even though it bothered him so much. It bothered him that she was now the light of Louis’ stupid life. He just didn’t understand why exactly did Eleanor have to start sitting with them at lunch time? It wasn’t like Liam or Zayn’s girlfriends ever sat with them. They have their own friends too so they didn’t need to obsess over the little time the lads had together in school? Niall could never even hold a girlfriend longer than a week so that was something Harry even had to consider.

Harry certainly didn’t like how Louis decided to be a different guy in front of Eleanor and do everything he had ever done with Harry with her. It was annoying watching Louis having his arm wrapped around her all the time and not even talking to Harry like he used too. Not having a little side conversation with him while the rest were talking. It was like Louis had her there on purpose just so he didn’t have to talk to Harry which was even worse in his eyes. 

“It’s a shame Harry can’t come tonight but I’ve already booked our private area and everything! A little surprise, for finishing our final set of Christmas exams as seniors!” Well, that caught Harry’s attention. He had completely zoned out of listening to Eleanor's conversation since she never really bothered to talk to him anyway so hearing his name out of her mouth just wasn’t something he was used to. 

“Well you know, we could just try and sneak him in. I don’t exactly fancy leaving Harry at home just because he’s underage and can’t drink yet.” Zayn told Eleanor. No one really liked her attitude about Harry but no one would speak up to Louis. What would they say? We think your girlfriend is a bitch to Harry? As if that would go down well.

“Wait, where are you guys going?” Harry questioned them which was followed up by a snicker from Niall. Niall knew him so well. Harry didn’t listen to the words Eleanor ever said since it was never interesting enough to keep his attention or ever really want to speak to him, it was more like Harry just happened to be there.

“Oh, we’re just going to a bar since most of us are eighteen, sorry Harry.” Liam said apologetically. Hm well that sucked, but what could he do? 

Harry was used to this, always being that little bit young that he couldn’t exactly do what all his friends were doing yet but it was different when he knew what would go on. Eleanor and Louis drinking probably all up against each other and kissing right in front of everyone. Harry was suddenly glad that he’d just mope at home and not watch the two actually be loved up.

“You know, I might not go. Seems rubbish if you ask me. Why would I go out with the group when the whole group can’t even be there? I’m not even eighteen yet but I can just get away with it.” Harry smiled a bit when he heard Niall speak up. He was glad he had a friend like him when Louis seemed to have stopped being there for him like that. It definitely was different being around Niall more often but Louis had his girlfriend. It was what he decided.

“Well, no Niall. It’s not our fault that Harry’s not eighteen yet can’t pretend like he is without shitting himself..” Louis responded. Harry genuinely thought that he might explode. What was with Louis pretending like he didn’t even exist? What happened to his best friend from a couple weeks ago who refused to even go to school if Harry wasn’t here because he simply didn’t feel like it? Harry didn’t know. 

That was the moment Harry decided he was going to have his first and proper real fight with Louis. “You know what Louis? I’m right here. Please stop talking about me as if I wasn’t! And the way you’re acting it’s like you don’t even want me to be here! You could have made plans that included me, but no! You had to go with your girlfriends plans, didn’t you? What about me?” Harry exclaimed at the table and when it caused a snigger from Eleanor, Harry jumped straight up and slung his bag over his shoulder. 

“Harry c’mon, you know it’s not like that, it’s hardly Eleanor’s fault that you’re sixteen and can’t join in on our plans.” Louis said and tried to reach out for Harry, but he wasn’t having it. Harry had finally reached breaking point. Why didn’t Louis care that he was upset? Why was he still protecting Eleanor? What about him?

“You know what? That’s completely right!” Harry laughed then angrily at Louis. “Why don’t we all just pretend that that’s my issue right now because you’re too stupid to see anything else, Louis! I’ll see you guys later! Have fun on your night out without me!” He stormed off away from all, deciding it wasn’t worth his time to sit here and listen to Louis not even speak to him or consider his feelings.

After a moment of standing awkwardly in the middle of their canteen, Harry decided just to get the next bus home and skip his classes for the afternoon and go home. When he arrived home he already knew he had plenty of messages from the lads that he should probably answer but why would he? He knew he had already made an idiot out of himself because of his feelings. Even writing in his journal to explain the whole morning didn’t help. He didn’t even want to think about what’d happen on Louis’ night out planned by Eleanor but didn’t expect it was exactly what he needed to happen.


	3. You don't have to say you love me

Sitting at home definitely wasn’t as bad as Harry thought it’d be. Sure, he had to be by himself and not see his friends on a Friday night when he'd just finished his Christmas exams too but sadly that was just to be expected when he wasn’t able to go drinking yet and he wasn't in his final year. He wasn’t even over thinking the fact that he had caused an argument with Louis in front of everyone because he thought it through. He knew he was in the right. Louis over the last couple weeks had come so distant from him because of Eleanor around and didn’t even make that much time for him anymore. 

They weren't completely ignoring each other. That'd never happen but it more became a random Snapchat here and there or if either of them saw something that they’d like on Instagram they’d send it but it wasn’t the same. Not like they used to be. Louis had even decided that he wasn’t collecting Harry from school anymore because he collected Eleanor instead and she was the opposite way so Harry kindly offered to start getting the bus to not affect anyone. Not like he really had a choice about it but he wanted to feel like he did Louis the favour.

Even though he had spent most of his evening with his Mum in the living room watching a couple movies with he he decided he wanted to go upstairs and have a bit of time to himself since it was getting late and he didn’t really fancy staying on the sofa. “I know Mum, I’ll stop whining over the fact that I had to sit here and watch movies with you all evening.” Harry said and pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek before he went upstairs. 

Harry hummed as he walked up the stairs and counted every step that there was until he reached the landing. He grabbed a towel from the cupboard so he could get washed up for bed and not leave his his room for the rest of the night. Harry walked into the bathroom and took his time to get washed up and into his pajamas since he wasn't in a rush. For what? Not like his friends were there to chat with. He threw on baggy shirt and tracksuit bottoms that he could wear to chill out just in case someone came into his room and he could pull them off just before he got under the covers to sleep.

Harry closed his bedroom door behind him and turned on his fairy lights so he could knock the main light off and light a couple candles so he could keep relaxing for the evening. He planted himself right up against his headboard on the bed and sat over the covers. Harry took out his phone and saw he had multiple notifications from the lads but decided to check their stories first. It was exactly what he expected. He could have told anyone about the night without seeing the Snapchat’s without a doubt. First? They’d start in Louis’ house because it was that little bit closer to the venue and they had more of a chance of getting a lift in. He still laughed though, seeing the pictures of where they were all drinking on Louis’ bedroom floor and getting ready for their night out. He laughed fondly, just seeing Niall already five cans of whatever in beside him as he sat there with Liam who just looked as drunk already with a big dopey smile.

He kept pressing for the next picture to pop up sadly knowing somewhere along the way he’d see Eleanor and Louis all pictured up for his public Snapchat story so everyone got to see that he had a girlfriend. Harry sighed as he reached that point in the story, holding his thumb down on the screen so he could see the picture for longer. He stared at it intently Louis looked gorgeous like always, a light blue shirt on with red jeans that made Harry feel absolutely crazy about how he looked with them on. Louis wasn't lacking in any department that was sure. He couldn't stop fonding over how Louis’ smile always lit up around his eyes when he was excited. How Louis’ hair was styled just so perfectly. What he didn’t feel crazy about? Eleanor wrapped around his side and grinning like no tomorrow. 

Harry found himself laughing even more as the pictures progressed into a big mess seeing them all absolutely shit faced and even started getting videos sent from Liam with all the lads in it. “Harry! Wish you were here! Definitely no fun without you.” Zayn sounded like he was slurring his words and couldn't even stand straight. God knows what they had drank, or taken. Harry really never knew. He stayed away from that, knowing sometimes he was just a little too young for these older lads.

“Oh it’s no no fun without you!” Louis’ voice came through his speaker and caused him to smile that little bit more. Louis missed him even though they’d had a little bit of falling out today. “But Harry you would hate it here! A place where you’d like to be, too noisy! Miss you though. Miss your face and your curly hair- Oh El! I’m coming now!” Louis’ voice disappeared from the video. 

Louis missed him. Louis missed his face and his curly hair and he knew that he needed to calm down before his Mum marched in and wondered why he was sitting there nearly squealing and crying in happiness just because Louis missed him, maybe just as much as he missed Louis.

Harry locked his phone after a while realising he had sat there for nearly two hours to see them on their night. He knew that was enough snapchatting the lads back and forth to interact with him wasn't fair because he wanted them to have a good time and certainty didn’t want to be caught up on a night out that he wasn’t even at or join in on probably. It made him look like a loser but hey, he was all cuddled up in bed. He didn't have to worry. He sighed started playing his favourite film so he could fall asleep. 

It was almost Harry was almost asleep two hours when he heard his phone ringing and reached for it on this bedside table with a soft groan. “Hello?” He mumbled out. He glanced over at his alarm clock. 3 in the morning. Why did someone bother to call him that late and who was going to pay for it?

“Harrryy!” Louis’ drunk voice filled his ears and he most definitely was not impressed. Why was Louis calling him this late and not off with Eleanor somewhere? He rubbed his eyes, sitting up to hear what else Louis was going to add. “I’m coming to your house. M’in a taxi now! See you in a bit!” The call disconnected and that was that. 

Harry groaned loudly and got up to pull his tracksuit bottoms and baggy shirt back on and a pair of long socks so he could tuck them into his tracksuit bottoms. He couldn’t say no to Louis. He definitely couldn’t even thinking about saying no since Louis had said that he was already on his way but god he was really tired. Why was Louis coming to his house drunk? He didn’t really know but he kept an eye out his window. He sighed and walked downstairs, seeing the cab pull up outside his house and walked to the front door to let him in.

“You gotta be quiet, you know.” Harry whispered and took the older boys hand to guide him into his house and got down onto his knees to help him take his shoes off. The smell of alcohol from him was overwhelming and he felt like an idiot.

“Harry it’s okay, you know your Mum will never mind me being here.” Louis laughed then, putting his jacket over the banisters and started stumbling up the stairs to get into Harry’s bedroom. He flopped down onto his bed and Harry internally groaned. 

“She wouldn’t mind if you weren’t pissed drunk all over my bed Louis.” Harry added and sat down on the bed and chewed his lip nervously. Did Louis just forget that they had a falling out earlier? Or maybe he was just too drunk to remember but he knew he felt bettter with Louis being here with him. “Why are you here? Aren’t you probably supposed to be with Eleanor somewhere?” He questioned. 

“I don’t have to be with her all the time, Harry. Was thinking of you when I was out so I wanted to come and see you. Missed you.” Louis mumbled and sat up, wrapping an arm around Harry. Louis definitely was way too drunk to even function. Why was he thinking of him when he was out and not enjoying his time with Eleanor?

“Well, that’s nice.” Harry said softly and leaned a little into him, trying to stay quiet because he knew if he woke his Mum there would be murder to pay tomorrow. He looked up into Louis’ eyes and smiled a little. He missed being this close to him. He missed being able to see the bright blue eyes look into his own green. He missed everything about Louis from before Eleanor was around.

“Haz, can I tell you a secret? A secret absolutely no one knows?” Louis’ breath was so close to his ear he thought he might pop a boner if Louis said anything else that close to his ear or that close to him in general.

Harry raised an eyebrow and put his hand on Louis’ chest afraid he’d say something crazy. “I don’t know, do you want to tell me a secret that absolutely no one else knows?” Harry chuckled and smiled at him then. 

Louis let out a deep sigh down and cupped Harry’s face in his hands then to stare down at him. “Well Harry, you came out to us all a couple weeks ago.” His voice was gentle but Harry didn’t like where Louis was going with this. That was a rather big topic. “I just think that’s amazing that you can be so so open and not even worry about it. Worry about what people think because you’re just you and it’s perfect.” Harry listened his ramble and raised an eyebrow. Louis was amazed he was open?

Harry moved his hands up to gently hold his wrists in his hands then. How did even respond to that? “Well I’m glad you think that, I’d be worried if you didn’t think I was amazing.” Harry whispered back then, wondering if that was the response Louis wanted to hear. “You’re amazing too, you know? Working and still studying like are-” Harry was quickly cut off.

“I’m not amazing Harry. I’m not like you. You’re so open and you just told everyone that you like boys? How could you even do that?” Louis whispered and smiled drunkenly but Harry could see the sadness in his eyes. “I just wish I could be as open as you one day.”

Louis wanted to be open like him? Louis couldn’t believe that Harry was able to tell everyone that he was gay and he wanted to be just like him? Harry’s mouth parted in disbelief but didn’t want to draw attention to it. Louis was drunk. Louis wouldn’t have told him any of that if he was sober. Harry knew it all too well. 

Harry swallowed knowing he needed to answer that or Louis mightn’t be happy. He was drunk and could be easily upset. He bit his lip before gently moving his hand to his face and didn’t even feel him recoil. Like he was happy. “Louis you can be anything that you want to be and you shouldn’t worry what people think about you. Ever.” Harry murmured. 

Harry mind was running ninety. Should he try and shut Louis up before he heard something stupid? Before Louis decided to say something that wasn’t even true? Louis was drunk. Louis had been with his girlfriend all night and now he was sitting in his bed. Harry definitely felt smug after Eleanor talking the way she did in school today because here he was sixteen and still sitting with Louis after a night out.

“Harry I just- fuck, right. Okay. Listen, you came out and it sent me into crazy thinking about of the way we are. The way we’ve always been and you’ve been so fucking happy being gay and here I am with a girlfriend who I haven’t even done anything more than snogging in nearly a month because I keep telling her no! Why do I keep telling her no Harry? Why?” Louis sounded so upset and lost. Harry knew that feeling but this right now? It was exactly what he was scared of hearing. Scared of hearing Louis maybe telling the truth that he’d never be able to tell.

Harry took another shuddery breath. He really wished he never answered the phone because now Louis was going to fight with him again after coming out with all this. Louis didn’t even think he was straight. Harry knew deep down that it was always going to be easier for him to come out than a lot of other people. He was still young and he never really fit into any stereotype of any lads growing up. He wasn’t a football player like Louis. Harry was just Harry and for him? Coming out just added to his quirkiness but he knew Louis wouldn’t be able to cope like he could. 

“Louis… you gotta be honest with yourself. You’ll never be happy if you don’t be yourself. I know you’re really drunk and you probably won’t even remember this conversation in the morning but you can’t pretend to be someone you’re not.” Harry said gently and moved his hands from his face to rub his back slowly. He didn’t know how to react to Louis. What to do to make the situation better.

“Harry as my friend I want you to do this for me. Please… please don’t move.” Louis murmured and leaned down towards him. 

This couldn’t be happening. Could it? Harry still closed his eyes and licked his lips quickly wondering what Louis was about to do. The answer was hopefully kiss him but Harry felt guilt stirring in his stomach. Did he want their first kiss to be when Louis was drunk and whining about his feelings about his girlfriend? Or did he want to wait for the first romantic date that he had always imagined that they’d go on and know that they were both ready for it. At least if Louis was drunk and realised he didn’t like kissing him he could blame it on being drunk. That was a plus.

Harry felt Louis’ lips pressed onto his softly and his breath hitched that little bit wanting Louis to initiate anything that was ever going to happen. Harry moved a hand gently onto his chest and started kissing him back slowly. His first kiss with Louis ever was happening. In his room when Louis was drunk. He felt Louis move his hands right up to link around the back of his neck and started playing with his curls. He was Louis’ curly after all. It was everything Harry ever wanted and more and knew it was right for them in that moment. Harry could taste the hint of alcohol and cigarettes and didn't even mind. He felt Louis pull him in that little bit closer and felt the drunken heat radiate from his body. Louis was a fantastic kisser even as drunk as he was.

Harry moved and climbed onto his lap, wrapping his own arms around his neck so they could be even closer. So he could savour every moment. So he could feel Louis underneath him and tell if he liked it or not. He found out soon enough that he certainly did and he even moved his hips that little bit slowly against him. When Louis let outa moan response to his wiggling? It nearly made Harry spill completely in his tracksuit bottoms. 

Harry sat back from where they were shamelessly grinding against each other a few minutes later. “Lou… Lou.” Harry breathed against his mouth not wanting anything to escalate more than a few kisses when he Louis ran a hand down his back and straight onto his arse and just kept snogging him like there was no tomorrow. It sent electricity through his body but he couldn’t tell Louis that. He couldn’t even blame all this on him being drunk because he wasn’t drunk on alcohol. He was drunk on Louis. Drunk on his touch and smell. Drunk on how Louis could just captivate him so easily.

Harry felt Louis pull away and stared down at with his parted lips that that were now swollen. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest and the ringing in his ears. When he heard Louis’ voice he finally was able to focus more. “Well thanks for that Harry, getting me all worked up when I didn’t intend on it. Least I know I was fucking right about it.” Louis breathed then.

The laugh that left them both really made the situation so much better. Harry just rolled his eyes fondly then and decided to get into bed since he was tired. They also needed to calm down before anything escalated any further. He felt Louis pull him in close for a cuddle and smiled to himself knowing that was it now and they’d both need to sleep. Harry softly wished him goodnight and smiled to himself again knowing that he’d knocked out within seconds but felt himself starting to panic. He had just shamelessly snogged Louis. His best friend. His best friend who was drunk and has a girlfriend. Currently sleeping in bed right up against him. Tomorrow was not going to be a good day, was it?


End file.
